The Randomness of a Bored Fanfic Author
by StarOfGalaxies
Summary: I think the title says it all. I was bored while writing a ten paged essay when I started this. Not something that's meant people to think. I might do some more if I get bored again, which I get bored a lot.
1. Stars are Falling

**Disclaimer: **I **DO NOT **own the Daughters of the Moon characters or the Sons of Dark characters (those belong to Lynne Ewing), Harry Potter characters (those belong the J.K. Rowling), Twilight characters (those belong to Stephanie Meyer), or the House of Night characters (those belong to P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast). I don't even own the laptop this is being typed up on or the mattress I'm lounging on as I type this. I do own the loft this mattress is in though and the account this is being posted on. I'm not sure if I can own myself.

**Warning: **This is a product of boredom and may have character bashing. I'm not sure yet, I'm making this up as I type along. We'll just have to see.

Vanessa, Catty, Jimena, Tianna, and Serena stood in a line with linked arms, ready to battle the line of Followers before them. Stanton hide the shadows unsure which side to take. Zahi (who has been magically turned back into a Follower), Tymmie, Karyl (whose reappeared after dropping off the face of the Earth of this series), Cassandra (who has also magically become a Follower once more), Morgan, Kelly, Murray, Adamantis, Justin, Mason, and Lambert stood with evil smiles on their faces as they prepared to finally rid the world of these irksome Goddesses of the Moon. (Or so they thought)

Just as they prepared to have an all out mythological battle there was an ominous crack and a flash of silver light. They all looked up to see a star glowing brighter and brighter, until they realized that the star was flying toward the silver light that was above their heads. Stanton leapt from the shadows to snatch his beloved from this evil, destructive light. The star hit the silver light and a blonde girl with gray-blue eyes landed on her buttless bum. "Ow!"

"Ow! Stanton!" Jimena screeched. Stanton paled when he realized he had tackled her to the ground. She began calling him names in Spanish that made him glad that he didn't understand a word of that language.

"Oh my gosh." They all looked at the blonde girl who was dressed in shorts (shorts, not jean underwear, but actually shorts that covered her pale thighs) and a black shirt with a faint white letters saying 'Dream the Day Away.' She stood up, her thick, wavy, untamable dark dirty-gold blonde hair curling around her round face. "It worked! Woo-hoo!"

They all gave her 'that chick is insane' look. Could she not see they had just been about to destroy one another in a mega mythological battle? Perhaps blondes were stupid, even if this chick was wearing glass to suggest that she was smart.

"Wait." Morgan said. "If you're blonde, but you wear glasses, does that mean you're smart or dumb or normal?"

Everyone scratched their heads.

"That," Adamantis said. "is a very good question." He looked at the girl who had just fallen from the sky. "Are you smart?"

The blonde girl thought about it. "Uh, I mean go to this one school that is for smart teenagers, but the school is called the Indiana Academy, I.A., which also could stand for insane asylum and they're just saying Indiana Academy to make us feel better. They do call us special."

Stanton got up and tried to edge into the girl's mind. (That is if she had one.) Serena began to look into the strange girl's head too.

Stanton suddenly pouted. He stabbed an accusing finger at the girl who immediately froze in awe that _the_ Stanton from the wonderous Daughters of the Moon series was mad at her!

"I can't read your mind."

"Maybe she doesn't have one." Zahi said in his dreamy, Frenchy voice. The Goddesses sighed dreamily. Stanton glared at Serena.

"No." The blonde girl said. "I expect that you can't read my mind because I come from a different galaxy from you. My brain is probably on a different frequency."

They all stared in wonder at the now named Alien Girl.

"Star!" An annoyed voice came.

'Star' turned and waved at three teenagers who were submerged in sand. One had jet-black hair and green eyes with black-rimmed glasses and a lightening bolt scar. The other was a girl with bushy brown hair and buckteeth. The last one was a red headed, freckled boy with a big nose.

Star sighed. "You guys were suppose to stay in _your _book series galaxy, not follow me to the Daughters of the Moon/Sons of the Dark series galaxy." She huffed.

"Oh my Atrox!" Tymmie said. He hung onto Karyl's arm and began jumping up and down. Karyl felt like his arm was going to get pulled out of his arm, but he didn't care. He knew who those three teens were. "It's them! It's Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley!"

The three teens stared at the teen with a shaved head and Atrox tattooed on his scalp and his multiple facial pierces. They then looked at the strange lizard like boy that the scary one was hanging on to.

"Come any closer and we'll Stupefy you!" Ron threatened.

"Oh, oh!" Catty raised her hand and jumped up and down. "Stupefy me! Please, pretty please."

Hermione gave the brunette goddess a weird look. "Did you have a memory charm backfire or something?

"Edward, I don't think we're in Forks anymore." The group turned and saw a golden eyed, bronzed hair…god standing next to an ordinary brunette with brown eyes.

"OMG!" Hermione screamed. She blasted herself free from the sand trap. She threw herself at the god's feet. "You're Edward Cullen. Oh my god!"

Jimena threw herself at his feet too. She had always loved sparkling, vegetarian vampires. Collin, who was surfing while he waited for his Goddess girlfriend and little sister to finish with their saving the world business, stabbed his board into the sand and looked around.

"Jimena!" He shouted.

She looked at him with her witching black eyes. "It's okay Collin, he's just a fictional character. I'm not really cheating on you. If you think about, thousands girls would be cheating on their boyfriends, so it automatically doesn't count." She realized she hadn't said one word of Spanish. "Si!" [The author apologizes for this low bow to the future Magna Mater]

Bella Swan looked at her. "Fictional character?"

"Oh no." Star whispered, but no one was paying attention to her. She had a bad gut feeling. You know, the ones that make you feel like you're going to vomit, but you don't.

Lambert took Bella's hand. "My dear, you are much more lovely than the actor who plays you in the movie."

She stared at the white haired Follower. Edward snarled and in movement that was too fast for any to see (not really) he had his reason for existing behind his back.

"Star of Galaxies!" Ron Weasley spat.

"How do you know my full name?" Star of Galaxies asked.

"It's on your bio on Fanfic Dot Net." Harry Potter said pulling himself and his best mate out.

"It is?" She didn't remember putting that on there.

"It's your account name!"

"Oh, right. Duh!"

Edward Cullen spotted her. "You!"

"What?" She wasn't in to the whole sparkling skin charm thing. She preferred her boyfriend to be non-sparkly.

"You brought us here!"

"Nuh-uh." She said. "You followed me here after I visited your Twilight series galaxy."

"Wait!" Vanessa said. "You mean you went into this book?" She held up a black book with two, long pale arms holding an apple.

"And these?" Justin and Mason held up the complete Harry Potter series in their hands. How this fanfic author isn't quite sure.

"And now we're in this series?" Bella and Edward held up the Daughters of the Moon series.

"And this one." The author held up the Sons of Dark series.

"How?"

"By using my incredible fanfic author powers. Duh."

Four boys behind her (the Sons of the Dark themselves!) snatched the books out of her hands.

"Hey!" She said. "That's not nice!"

"Hey, I got Kyle's book." Berto said. "Whoa! Look what happens!" He shoved the book into the other renegade _servi_'s faces.

The author stared in horror. The Daughters and Followers were now flipping through their books while Edward and Bella were reading their books and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were looking through their's. This could only end very badly.

"Chris dies!" Tianna said.

"What?" Chris suddenly appeared out of nowhere and took the book from her. There, in this book, was his demise. He glared at Catty. "You killed me!"

"You asked me to!" She snapped.

Chris gives her a sad puppy dog look before he walked away to go curl in a hole to mope.

"Catty orders the deaths of the Sons!" Vanessa said.

"What?" Samuel grabbed the Final Eclipse.

"Catty." Kyle looked at her. "I thought you loved me."

"She supposedly loved Chris too." Murray said. "And then after his death, she leapt into Kyle's arms."

"And here we were thinking we were friends, or at least allies." Obie said.

The Sons flipped their hair and went to go join Chris.

"Hey Hector!" Cassandra said. "You die too!"

The evil moon demon raced over and snatched the book from Cassandra. He glared at Vanessa. She gulped.

"Now, now Hector." She said. He stepped towards her menacingly and demon like. "Wait, you wanted to marry me!"

"That was after I found out you were going to kill me!" He took off the beautiful blonde and she screamed shrilly. She ran off a cliff followed by the demon. The night was filled with Vanessa's shrill scream.

Star realized that she just caused the death of a Daughter of the Moon/Pandora.

"OMG!" Ron screamed. "Snape's good!"

"What?" Snape appeared out of nowhere and snatched the last Harry Potter book from the boy. "This can't be true!"

"And then you die!" Ron said happily. Snape cuffed him across the head.

"How is this for good?" He whipped out his wand. "_Avada Kedavra!"_

"No!" Dumbledore appears in front of Ron and takes the full blow of the killing curse.

"He was going to die anyway." Harry said shrugging. He stuck his nose back into the book. "And Snape even killed him too!"

"No one important or loved dies in our series." Bella said.

"Cool. Let's go find Isle Esme." Edward said, tossing the books to the ground. Bella smiled and the two disappeared.

"Maggie dies!" Jimena said. "And I become the Magna Mater? WTF?"

Tianna suddenly burst into tears. "I die too! I can't die, I'm too beautiful and prefect to die!"

"Quit crying Barbie wanna be." Catty snapped. "I die too!"

"Does everyone in this series die?" Cassandra asks.

"If everyone died then there wouldn't be fanfics about daughters of the Daughters taking their mother's places." Tymmie said. "Or what happens after the living daughters are done being daughters." They all looked at him. "What? Plotting evil's domination has a lot of free time and I had to find something to do. I have my own account and everything."

Star wondered what his account name was. Did he ever review or read her fics? She doubted it. She's only written one so far and only one person reviewed it. She really wished the site would tell you how many times it's been read so people would know if people were reading and just not reviewing. Maybe even put in a like button like Facebook.

Lambert smacked him across the back of the head. "We will discuss your lack of commitment to the Infidus later."

"I don't think that's going to happen." Cassandra passed him The Sacrifice. His cold eyes widened at the typed words there.

"But-but-but I _can't _die!" He said.

"You come back, sort of." Karyl said as he held Possession in his hand. "But Stanton and Serena kick your butt, again."

"_Stanton!" _An ominous voice said. It made everyone tremble in fear.

"Oh no, the Atrox." Serena whispered.

Star took out a disposal camera so she could get a picture of the ultimate evil.

A dark shadow with a blood red cast swirled in front of them like a giant thunderstorm. Star snapped a picture without it noticing and slipped it into her back pocket.

"_How dare you betray me!" _It sounded like it was…whining. Star frowned. This was this supposed to be the most ancient and most evil thing to ever defy creation. It was whining? The fans would never believe this. _"After all I gave you!"_

Wait, was the ultimate evil…crying?

"This is your guys' evil villain?" Harry asked.

"This thing makes Dobby look like a house-elf Voldemort." Ron said.

The air became really thick and the mass of evil loomed over in a menacingly cloud from over the teenage wizards. They backed up with their wands pointed at it.

"_YOU WILL NOT COMPARE ME TO THAT SNIVELING, SERVANT!" _The Atrox then opened the gateway to hell under they feet and laughed as they were sucked into molten rock. And just for kicks it kicked Dobby the House Elf in there too.

Star stood in absolute shock. "I just killed Harry Potter."

The Atrox stared at her. _"Nuh uh. I did!"_

"But I typed it!" She pulled out her white MacBook that her school gave her and showed the mass of superior evil. "See!"

"_Hmm, I guess you did."_

"Excuse my fine fellows of fearsome frequencies."

Everyone turned to see a pale man with red eyes and a mask like face.

"Voldemort!" Star squeaked. She whipped out her camera and took a quick picture before he noticed.

"Voldy!" Snape said. "What's up, homey V?"

He glared at him. "You betrayed me. For that, I revoke your Death Eater membership."

"I would never betray you!" Snape pleaded.

Voldemort held up The Deathly Hollows. "Not according to this."

"How can you believe that bull shit of a story?" Snape asked. "After all, your most evil lordship is destroyed, which is completely impossible."

"I don't." Voldemort said. "I just don't want to take any chances." He flicked his wand and the Death Eater tattoo disappeared off Snape's forearm. "_Accio _Membership Card!"

Snape tried to grab the laminated card that slipped through his fingers. He burst into tears and flung himself into pit of lava.

"Meep." Star said. "I just killed Snape."

"He was going to die anyway." Tymmie said.

"I thank you dark evil one." Voldemort said. "What can I do…"

The giant shadow pointed at the Daughters. _"Kill them."_

"Fine by me." Voldemort shrugged. He looked at them with a bored expression as he pointed his wand at them.

"No Serena!" Stanton leapt in front of her and took the killing curse meant for her.

"No Stanton!" She cradled his head in her lap and sobbed over his limp form.

"Bloody Hell." Voldemort said. "Now I can't kill her."

"I'll do it then." A blonde vampire with maroon irises walked up.

"No. James out." Star said pointing to the bluffs.

"She smells so good though." He whined.

"Out!" She screamed.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not the boss of me."

"Yes. I. Am." She held up the white laptop. "I'm the one writing this fanfic. I now decree that 'Then James was suddenly sucked into a blackhole that pulled him back into his galaxy of Twilight."

"Noooooo!" He screamed as the blackhole, that smelled like honeysuckle because the author likes honeysuckle, sucked him back to Forks.

Star smiled smugly.

"Hey Serena," Zahi said. "Now that Stanton's gone, you want to go out?"

Serena looked at the limp blonde and then at the hot brunette. "Okay." She took his arm and they skipped off into the sunset-that suddenly appeared.

Stanton's eyes snapped open and he glared at the author. "I'm going to steal your hope and your soul and then I'm going to kill you."

"It's not my fault." Star protested.

"You're writing the fanfic." Tymmie said, leaning up against a large rock and smoking a cigarette.

"Cigarettes cause cancer and death." She said. "It's also an expensive way to die."

He frowned at her. "Expensive?"

"Very." She said. "It can cost you hundreds a month."

"Hmm."

"Tymmie." Karyl said. "You're a follower of ancient evil. The job doesn't pay. You steal."

"Oh yeah." Tymmie said.

Star felt an arm go around her shoulders. Adamantis peered over her shoulder and reached for the keys of her laptop.

She slapped his hand. "No touchie!"

He glared at her as she slipped from his arm. He stepped toward her with shadows whipping around him.

"Back off. I have…" She pulled a bottle out of the back of her pocket. "Holy Water." She threw the water onto him.

"Ahhhh!" He clutched his face and writhed in agony.

"Let me see that." Stanton came over and took it. He took off the sticker that said Holy Water. "This is Wal-Mart water."

"It still burns!" Adamantis screamed.

Star shook her head. Did being in a fanfic affect the characters personalities or something?

Mason grabbed her arm. "You control this fanfic."

"Uh, I thought that's been established." Star said.

"So, you control our fates." Voldemort said.

Star was definitely not liking the looks she was getting from the evil people. "Yeah, kinda of."

"You also control the fates of everyone you put in your fanfic." Lambert said.

"Meep!" She squeaked when she notice how they were all crowding around her. She grabbed her computer and held it in front of her. "Back off! I have a Mac!"

They froze. She opened the book so they could stare at the black cat with a red shoelace around his head like a ninja band that was her background. The cat looked terrifying with cute orange eyes and fuzzy kitty face.

The Macbook suddenly sparked and the little apple began flashing. It made a spitting noise and the ninja kitty vanished. Star stared opened mouth at her laptop.

The computer expert from the Academy walked up and took the computer. "Nice job. I thought I sent a e-mail out to not put your computer in your bag with your large textbooks." Grady said.

"I'm not going to carry two bags just for three classes." Star complained.

He sighed. "This'll take a while. You'll get it back in a few days."

The Followers and Voldemort were giving her creepy, hungry looks.

"Please tell me I can get a loner soon." She pleaded.

"Soon," He said. He saw the persons of evil staring intently at Star. "I'll go see if I can't find one for you." He vanished.

"Grady!" Star screamed. The evil group of Followers plus Voldemort stepped towards her. "Meep!"

James suddenly appeared with them.

"How did you come back?"

"Your blackhole had a hole in it that allowed me to come back." James said.

"How does that even make sense?"

He shrugged. "It's your fanfic." He said.

"_And you will write what we say now." _The Atrox said.

"Meep!"

James grabbed her shoulder and his face strained like he was trying to lift her, but couldn't.

"You can't lift a hundred pound girl?" Star asked.

Cassandra and Morgan skewered the girl with their eyes.

"You're only a hundred pounds?" Morgan asked jealously

"Actually, I don't know." Star admitted. "I haven't checked my weight in a year."

"Why the hell not?" Cassandra shrieked.

"I don't care as long as I'm healthy." Star said. "I live in the Boondocks anyway, there's no one to impress."

"Um, hello." Morgan said. "Cute farmer boys."

"But then I went up to a collage in Muncie."

"Oh, college boys." Cassandra said.

Inspiration suddenly struck Star. "Actually, I was far too busy doing this kind of stuff." A dry erase board suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Star went up to it and scribbled a Trigonometry problem on the board.

The evil people's mouth dropped at the sight of the problem.

"What the hell?" Mason said.

"This is a Trigonometry analysis problem." She explained. "I did a whole chapter on this. You have to prove this side equal the other side." She began scribbling a lot of trigonometry phrases and formulas down.

She turned back and they were all writhing on the ground, clutching their heads.

"It hurts!"

"So…much…math!"

"_I could never come up with something so tortuous!"_

Only Justin, the only other person wearing glasses, was not suffering from a major math headache.

"I get it!" He grabbed her arm. "You're mine, Star!" His eyes glowed yellow.

She did the only thing she could think of. She kissed his cheek.

"Ah!" Justin began jumping up and down. He grabbed a rock and began rubbing it on his cheek. "Girl germs! Girl germs!"

"Tee hee." Star chuckled like a little child. The Followers instantly snapped out of their math headache. Justin was still…the author doesn't really want to describe it. Shudders.

"If it's one thing we hate more than smart/dumb blondes, it's smart/dumb blondes giggle like stupid little girls." Tymmie said.

"What about Trig?" Star gestured to the board. "Don't you hate this?"

Adamantis pointed at the board and it shattered into a million pieces.

"I wish you could have that while we were learning that crap." Star muttered.

"_Imperio!" _Voldemort shouted.

Star just stood dumbly and stared at him. "Um, was that supposed to do anything?"

Voldemort looked at his wand. He banged it against his hand. It shot out of his hand and shot out to sea. A giant fish sprang out of the water and swallowed it. It dived back into the water after turning into a bunch of rainbow colored bubbles.

"Nice job slick." Star covered her mouth after the comment.

"You really want to die, don't you?" Karyl asked.

Star thought about it. "Well…" It wasn't like she was suicidal or anything, but after reading a lot of books about characters with immortality…

"_Shut up and get me that Star!"_

"Meep!" Star squeaked as she dived when a mass of dark power zipped over her pretty empty blonde head.

"_Star of Galaxies." _A weird, not sure if it's male or female, voice breezed around her. "_Use your incredible fanfic author powers!"_

She stood up and James jumped up in front of her.

"Back up!" She shouted. "Bubble space is personal thank you." Something hard appeared in her hand and she chucked it at him.

"Ah! Garlic!" He shrieked. He tried to get rid of it, but he just kept passing it from one hand to the next. Maybe it's not just girls who are dumb blondes.

"Dude!" Collin said.

Star looked at the surf. He was still here? She didn't remember dying. Hmm.

"Garlic doesn't bother you." He said.

James looked at it. "Oh, right." He tossed it behind him.

Voldemort gave a kinda of girlie squeal when the garlic rolled by him. He held up his robes like a scared woman and hopped onto a rock. "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!" He shrieked.

"O-kay." Star said. She took out her camera and took a picture. Harry Potter fans were never going to believe her.

James grabbed her wrist.

"Cross!" She shrieked shoving into his face.

He grabbed it tossed it away.

"Wooden stake." She put it in front of him.

"Nope."

"Holy Water!"

He snatched the water bottle. "This is the Wal-Mart water." He tossed the water and Adamantis shrieked diving away from it.

"Light?" She held up an orb of pure white light.

"Nein." He tossed it and the Atrox ran away. It was scared of the evil light. "Hollywood lied to you."

Her eyes widened. "No." She looked really shocked.

"Yes." Tymmie said, enjoying her misery.

She shrugged. "I always knew it was brain washing us. Grady, can I have my loaner now?"

"Here ya go." Grady walked over with a laptop.

"No!" Something winged with talons and beak and some human parts tackled him to the ground.

"Oh no." Star said. "Is every single series I visited coming to this one?"

"Of course silly bitch." Neferet said. Her red hair whipped around her and her green eyes shone. Her Nyx Mark was displayed proudly on her forehead. Beside her was an angel with black wings and golden eyes and skin. "You destroyed our chances of destroying our world with your silly little fanfics."

She grinned awkwardly. "Well, it was fun."

"Now you will use your incredible fanfic author powers to create the world we want." Kalona, the angel, said.

"Hey!" Tymmie said. "We have dibs on her."

Star snorted. "I'm not a rock or jewel. You can't have _dibs _on me." Star was a little touchy on the claiming issue like she was a rock or jewel, which even if she is a Star, she's not. She had a heartbeat and a decently working mind.

Kalona put an icy hand on her shoulder.

"Double meep!" She squeaked.

"_Use your fanfic author powers." _The man or female voice whispered again.

"Uh…" She suddenly wondered how everyone would react if they were suddenly forced to river dance.

They glared murderously at her as their feet began flying across the sand uncontrollably. The author thinks the Atrox was river dancing, she couldn't tell.

"I'll kill you!" Neferet screamed.

"People have been threatening to kill me since I was a preteen and I'm still here!" Star said.

They all put their arms on each other's shoulders and started doing high kicks like the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. Kelly had a smile on her face. She used to love doing this kind of thing. That was before she surrendered her soul and hope to an evil darkness of a nothingness.

Star wished she had a video camera. Pictures were great, but a video camera would be even better.

A video on a stand appeared beside her.

"You're dead you evil Star!" Murray said.

"Especially if that gets onto the internet!" Voldemort said.

"We all die some time." She shrugged. "And how do you know about the internet?"

"Only the lucky ones." Stanton muttered.

Suddenly everyone heard a demonic computer voice say, "Hey bite me. Muhahaha!"

"What the hell was that?" Cassandra said.

Star pulled a maroon colored ENV2. "My text ring tone." She opened the screen and saw a text from her younger sister: "Watcha doin?"

"Even in another realm she can still bother me." Star complained. "Trying not to get killed." She typed.

"That ring tone is awesome!" Tymmie said a little breathless. "You need to send it to my phone."

Star began humming When You're Evil by Voltarie. "I wonder what it would be like if I went into Nefandus and the people there sung This is Halloween."

"No way!"

The Followers, Voldemort, Neferet, Atrox, and Kalona broke free of her evil will sucking powers.

"Oh fishsticks." Star said. "Meep!" She ran as dark power shot at her. She ran to the end of the cliff and skidded to a halt. The height was nuts. Star is from Indiana and it's flat. There's no cliffs like these there. Star didn't think there were any cliffs. It was flat. Flatty, flat-flat! With cornfields! Well, were she lived there were more melon fields than cornfields.

"_Hahaha! We have you know Star!" _The Atrox cackled.

"Muahahahaha-hacking cough-muahahhahaha-an even more disgusting cough-" Lambert laughed/coughed. Voldemort slapped him on the back.

"Easy their mate! Remember salvia goes own the esophagus not the larynx." Voldemort said.

"I'm okay." Lambert said. "Thanks Voldy."

"No problem Lamp." Voldemort said. "Shall we emotional and spiritual destroy Star?"

"I think we can all agree on that." Cassandra said.

"Meep!"

"Enough meep-ing!" Stanton screamed. "That's so damn annoying."

"Damn is a wordy dird." Star said.

"You're mine bitch." Neferet leapt at her with her nasty claws extended.

Star wished a wall of earth would spring out of the cliff. The amazing fanfic gods heard her and a wall of chunk of the cliff appeared between her and Neferet. Neferet slammed into the wall hard enough that her head came out on the other side.

"Bitch is a wordy dird too." Star said childishly. The wall of earth fell forward so Neferet's face was plowed into the rock. Her dress slid down to neck revealing a little too much. The other evils jumped onto the rock wall.

"Meep!" Star wished the cliff under them would fall apart.

The earth shook and the cliff crumbled under their feet. Star stood on a solid piece of cliff and looked down at the mass of rocks that they were lying on. She cackled childishly evil. She looked up and then saw the Atrox and Kalona didn't fall.

"_I don't have feet or legs." _The Atrox explained.

"I have wings." Kalona said, smiling.

"I wish you didn't." She waited for the wish to be granted. It didn't happen.

"_You can't change them to the point that they won't be recognized. Taking away his wings would make him unrecognizable." _The fanfic god voice person said.

"What kind of crap is that?" Star said.

"_It's the rules." _The voice said.

"The rules suck." Star muttered. She jumped back when Kalona landed in front of her. Why did he have to be so tall? Behind him the mass of dark evil was behind him, waiting for it's chance.

"Wind, come to me!"

Kalona was pushed back by a sudden burst of wind. Star turned and saw Zoey, Damian, Jack, Aphrodite, Stevie Rae, Erin, and Shaunee from the House of Night series. Is this fanfic going to get anymore screwed up.

"Hey, Star!" Aphrodite said. "You owe us a wish!"

Not this again. "I'm not a genie."

"But we made a wish on a falling star and that falling star turned out to be." Erin started.

"A one hundred and forty pound, blonde white girl with gray-blue eyes, whose a seventeen year old junior who is currently writing the dumbest fanfic we have ever been in." Shaunee said.

"I'm _bored._" Star complained.

"Oh boo hoo." Aphrodite said. "Go get a boyfriend."

"The only boys I attract are dead." Star said.

"Huh?" Jack asked.

"I have a friend who says I have this guy ghost who stalks me because he likes me." Star said. "She always teases me that he's my ghost boyfriend."

"And I thought I had boyfriend problems." Zoey muttered.

Damian gave her an odd look. "A living person and someone who is dead. Never heard of that before."

Aphrodite grinned. "Well, I'm sure you have a lot of fun. No one will probably ever found out either."

Star's jaw dropped. "I am not having a sexual relationship with a ghost! That sounds wrong on so many levels!"

She grinned like a cat who ate a canary. "I think the Star protests too much." Her eyes widened and then narrowed as she looked at something behind Star. "Hey!"

Star turned and saw Edward and Bella walking down the beach.

"It's those Twilight vampires!" Shanuee spat.

"Get 'em!" Erin said.

"Charge y'all!" Stevie Rae said. The nerd herd jumped from the cliff and landed on the beach.

"Yeah, you guys give true vampyres bad names!" Jack pouted. "You guys have an 'i' instead of a 'y'."

"We're going to beat your sparkly ass!" Aphrodite said. "No matter how fine it is."

"For once." Erin said.

"We agree hag!" Shanuee said.

"Get 'em." Zoey shouted.

Edward looked away from Bella's sexy chocolate eyes. When he saw the group of vampyres running toward him, he took off running.

Bella, who had been absolutely dazzled by Edward to the point where she forgot to breath, suddenly became very unbalanced and fell face first into the sand and then was immediately plowed into the ground by the nerd herd.

She lifted her head and spat out sand. "Hey! You're supposed to protect me!"

"Can't talk, getting chased by blood sucking freaks!" Edward shouted before squealing like a little girl when the nerd herd sent an elemental attack at him.

The Atrox stood beside Star and watched as vampyres chased a vampire. _"You really are bored, aren't you?"_

Star sighed. "Yep."

"That doesn't mean you take your boredom out on us!" Tymmie shouted.

"There are no rules about what I can and cannot do when I'm bored." Star shouted back.

"Star!" Bella shouted. "End this damn fanfic now!"

"Why in the world would I do that?" Star said.

"Because you have a ten page research paper due tomorrow that you haven't even begun to start or even think about." A blonde haired guy with ice blue eyes said. He wore a tight black shirt and really nice, yummy arms. He had loose black pants on. He looked really sexy and handsome.

"Who are you?" Star asked.

"Your ghost boyfriend." He said, smiling.

"How did you get here?"

"The fanfic gods, well goddesses actually, are sick and tried of you screwing with their creations, a.k.a. their characters. So, they sent me to get you." He grabbed her and swung her over his shoulder.

"Hey! You're ghost you can't be solid!" She shouted as he began walking toward a portal with a small white painted concrete blocked room with a loft with pink and purple poka dot comforter. "No! Not that prison!"

"Power of the authors, baby." He said. "They override the powers of a fanfic author."

The characters Star had been torturing began cheering and whistling.

The ghost turned and bowed, sorta of. "Respect the dead. Thank you and good night. I've got a living girl who needs spanking."

The whistling increased as well as catcalls that made Star's face red.

"I'm seriously thinking about farting." Star said. Because her butt was right by his ear, she hoped it would sound really disgusting too because of the Taco Bell she's been forced to consume because every other food establishment on campus was closed because the college kids went home.

He shrugged. "Whatever gassy."

"This isn't fair! I control this fanfic!" Star shouted.

"_No longer." _A voice that now sounded like many females said. _"We take away your fanfic powers…"_

"My heroes!" Stanton said.

"_Until your paper is done."_

Everyone's faces fell, even Star's. "But I don't want to right a stupid ten page paper about comics and how they reflected issues during the tie period it was written."

"_Not our problem."_

"You think you're going to spend the entire night writing that paper?" The ghost said with a perverted grin.

"Meep!"

"You're going to do a hell of a lot more meeping tonight little Star." The ghost carried the girl through the portal and into her dorm room. It shut with a snap.

The cheers continued for a while until…

"How in the hell are we supposed to get back to our worlds?" Zoey asked.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Star and the ghost guy were in her room with the lights off. They were on top of the pink and purple polka dotted comforter that covered the mattress in Star's loft.

"Yes. Yes, Yes!" Star said, making the bed bounce.

The ghost moaned.

Star threw down her royal flush and smiled at the ghost guy, who was no longer solid, but at least he was seeable. The ghost guy stared at his straight and sulking threw the cards to the ground. They fluttered down and the shining clear plastic reflected

"I don't want to play this game no mores." He pouted.

"It's any more." Star said.

"I'm dead. I don't have to use proper grammar." He snapped.

"Come on, let me have it." Star said greedily.

The ghost guy sighed and pulled out a white MacBook from…somewhere.

Star took her white laptop and logged into fanfic Dot net. The ghost guy leaned over her shoulder as she filled out the information to upload her fanfic.

"Why upload it? No one is going to read it." He said.

"Wanna bet?" Star asked.

"Fine. If you win, I'll do whatever you want. If I win, then we do what I want to do." He said.

"Deal." She took his airy hand and they shook hands. Star added something to the end of the fic:

**Please review. I don't want to be raped by a dead guy who stalks me.**

The dead stalker guy took the laptop and added his little note:

**After reading this fic you readers must agree that she needs to be punished. I'll be doing a public favor, it's not like I'll enjoy it. Well, I will…but I'll try not to.**

He posted the fanfic and handed her back her computer. "Now you need to write that research paper."

She groaned. "Fine, mother."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tymmie logged on and read Randomness of a Fanfic author by StarOfGalaxies. He grinned at the little notes left by her and the ghost guy who rescued them from her tyranny. That guy deserved some kind of reward and Star would be punished at the same time.

He went online and watched the video Star had made with her pictures and the video. He had to admit that they did look good while they river danced.

He smiled. He logged off and he opened Word and began working on his new fanfic about what happens when stars fall from the sky.

**OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Um, yeah. I was bored. Sorry if this is so pathetic, but I had nothing better to do. Well, except that ten-paged paper, but who wants to write those?

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you got a laugh out of it or at least a smile then I guess this fic's job has been accomplished.


	2. Be Prepared

**Author's Note: **Yes, folks, I am bored yet again and you know what that means. I get to torture various fictional characters! Yea! And so, I was listening to Be Prepared from zey Lion King and I though, what if Lambert and some of the Infidi and maybe some other Followers were to sing this song? Well, it might be something like this:

(I do not own Be Prepared or the Lion King or any Disney trademark)

_Italics: thoughts_

_**Bold Italics: Lyrics to the song I don't own, but have changed a bit so it's Follower related**_

Darkness is everywhere. Suddenly out of the pitch we hear this:

"_**I never thought regular Followers essential."**_

Light from a TV flickers through the darkness. Tymmie, Cassandra, and Karyl are playing Kingdom Hearts.

"Die you stupid Heartless. Die I say!" Tymmie screeches at the top of his lungs.

Karyl gets up and sits on Tymmie because Tymmie is currently kicking his ass..

"Not cool! Gerroff me! Get off me I say!"

"Can it pincushion." Cassandra said. She was winning now that Tymmie was out of the picture. For the first time in her life Cassandra was succeeding at something.

"_**They're crude and unspeakably plain."**_

Cassandra whips around. "Hey, that's not nice Lambert!"

Lambert steps from the shadows ignoring the unspeakably plain Follower girl.

"_**But maybe they have a glimmer-er-shade of potential.**_

_**If allied to my vision and brain."**_

"Ha, what brain?" Tymmie said.

Karly opened his mouth to speak, but then realized he couldn't do anything, but laugh hysterical with his tongue lolling out.

"_**I know that your powers of retention**_

_**Are as moldy as a Regulators backside."**_

The teenage Followers ignore Lambert and returned to their game.

"_**But thick as you are," **_He stalks over and flicks off the game consul.

"Hey!"

Karyl laughs hysterically with his tongue hanging out.

Cassandra throws her controller at him.

"_**PAY ATTENTION!" **_He roared. All three were immediately slammed back against the couch.

"_**My words are a matter of pride."**_

Karly then remembers that he had taken some illegal drugs before settling down to defeat the Heartless. That could explain the lolling tongue and hysterical laughter.

"_**It's clear from you vacant expressions." **_Lambert waved his hand in front of their faces.

"We got so far. We hadn't saved for four hours." Tymmie muttered in shock. "All that work, gone with a flick of a switch."

"The pure agony." Cassandra whispered in a dazed state.

"_**The lights-I mean-darkness is not all up there**_

_**But we're talking kings and successions!"**_

He dumps the couch over and spills the teens onto the floor.

"_**Ever you can't be caught unawares!"**_

"That's it!" Cassandra screamed. She ran at Lambert and tried to slice him with her scarily long nails.

Lambert dodges, er, dances would be a better term out of her reach.

"_**So prepare for a chance of a lifetime, or several**_

_**Be prepared for sensational news." **_Lambert ran his hand down his leg in a sexually matter.

Cassandra immediately threw-up. "Oh God."

"_**A shadowy new era, is tiptoeing nearer."**_

"_**And where do we feature?" **_Cassandra asked, suddenly curious about what this new era would be like. Maybe Stanton would finally leave that stupid red head for her!

Lambert reached over and pinched her cheek. _**"Just listen to teacher."**_

Karly snickered, well he actually laughed hysterically.

Tymmie began picking his nose. He was honestly used to Lambert doing _anything _to get attention for his cause. He shuddered at the memory.

"_**I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded**_

_**When at last I am given my dues!"**_ His cold eyes flashed. He, Lambert sometimes know as Darius would finally be recognized for the genius that he was! Instead of the one dude who babysat Stanton and then got turned into a blue puff of light, which doesn't make sense if he's a warrior of darkness but, any way. He had to finish the song!

"_**And injustice deliciously squared!"**_

After all, it wasn't his fault that he fell hopelessly in love with the most gorgeous being to ever exist, I mean come on. Except for Tianna of course. He drooled at the nasty R rated thoughts in his head.

Tymmie fell to the floor and began twitching. "I need bleach now!"

Cassandra looked at him. "Why?"

" I need to kill off a couple of brain cells."

"_**Be prepared!" **_Lambert poured a bottle of bleach onto Tymmie, but not in the area he wanted.

"Ahhhh!" Tymmie began running all over the apartment screaming shrilly like a four year old girl.

"_On with the song!" A female voice commanded._

Tymmie skidded to a halt and whirled around the face Lambert. _**"Yah! Be prepared! Heh, heh, we'll be prepared! Heh." **_He suddenly realized he doesn't remember what the plan was this time. _**"For what?"**_

"_**For the death of the Atrox. **_You empty headed bed bum!" Lambert snapped.

"_**Why is it sick?"**_

Lambert suddenly becomes enraged and rams into Tymmie.

"OW! OW! OW!" Tymmie says as Lambert bangs the teen's head in the wall with his hands around his throat.

"_**NO, FOOL, WE'RE GOING TO KILL IT!" **_He had another he wanted to add to the list. _**"And Stanton too."**_

Stanton jerks awake from his seat at the table. "2 plus 2 is four." A mushy, wet cheerio fell off his face. He blinked. "Why is Lambert here?"

Lambert sends a mental blast at the defenseless blonde and knocks him into the fridge.

Cassandra runs over and shuts the door. She then finds a padlock and locks the handles.

"Muhahahahahaha!" She cackles.

"Let me out!" Stanton bangs on the door. "It's cold in here."

"You'll have to do everything that I want us to do." She pulls a scroll out of her pocket. It unrolls, and unrolls, and unrolls till it travels down the front steps and all the way to the cornfields of Indiana.

(Star looks down at the list in front of her bed. "Oh, my virgin eyes! It burns!"

The ghost guy snorts. He peers at the list. "That actually sounds like a good time." He gave Star the Look.

"You're dead." Star said, she hated that Look. She narrowly escaped last time.

"Which means we don't have to worry about protection." He said. He began to take the computer away.

"I have morals, and that means no sex, especially with dead guys!" She shrieked. He set the computer down. "You'll go to hell!"

The ghost laughed. "I'm already dead, how much more screwed up can my death get?"

Oh, why did her roommate have to go home this weekend? Star leapt down off her loft and ran for the door. The wardrobe flew from the opposite wall against the door.

Star turned around to jump out the third story window and saw a huge bed with creamy blankets and red roses. There were candles everywhere and the sunny afternoon had turned into night.

"I don't think I want to know how you did this." Star looked down and saw she was wearing some revealing lingerie that hugged curves she didn't realize she had. "What the hell?" Where did the hips, butt and boobs come from?

She looked up and saw the ghost guy leaning against the window above the bed. Star spotted her laptop unprotected. It was either get raped by the hot, sexy disembodied spirit when she tried to leap out the window or she could dive into her fanfiction and possibly get killed by the fictional characters she was torturing.

It wasn't a difficult decision.)

"Oh! Taffy Apples!" Stanton shrieks. "I'm good!" The fridge begins to shake as Stanton obnoxiously eats the sweet, fruity treat.

"No, those are _mine_!" Tymmie screeches. Stanton didn't only steal Taffy Apples from little boys. He stole them from him too.

He tries to unlock the padlock and then tries to break it. After an hour of huffing and puffing he finally turns to Cassandra.

"Where's the fucking key?"

Cassandra had a blank expression. "I don't have a key."

A vein in Tymmie's neck throbbed.

"Blech! Excuse me." Stanton said in the stuffed to the point of explosion voice.

"My taffy apples!" Tymmie wailed.

"_The song's not over!" _The female voice hissed. _"I'm sure that the readers of something more important to do then listen to you guys whine about a Halloween treat."_

"_**Great idea who needs the Atrox!" **_Cassandra whooped. Her eyes widened when she realized that she had shouted it.

"_**No Atrox, no Atrox! La lalalalalala!" **_She and Tymmie sing.

"_**IDIOTS! **_DO YOU REALIZE HOW LOUD YOU ARE YELLING?" Lambert screamed.

"YOU'RE SCREAMING TOO!" Cassandra screamed back.

"_**There will still be a ruler of the shadows."**_

"_**Yah, but you said…" **_Tymmie started.

"_**I will be the ruler!" **_He hopped onto the kitchen table. "_**Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry for hope AGAIN!"**_

That sealed the deal.

"_**YAY! Alright! Long live Lambert!" **_They cried.

Suddenly Followers are sitting on bleachers that surround the small kitchen. **"**_**Long live Lambert! Long live Lambert!"**_

A banner falls from the ceiling and it has 'All Hail Lambert' with Lambert's sneering face on it.

"It's pink!" Lambert screeched.

"Then you shouldn't have let the girls design it." A random Infidi follower said.

Suddenly the Infidi begin marching toward a tattoo parlor. They had Infidi tattooed on their hips, chest, and backs. And one got it on the back his neck.

"_**It's great that we'll soon be connected,**_

_**with a leader who'll be all time adored."**_

Lambert beamed. He knew that singing a timeless Disney villain classic would work. Everyone loves the Lion King.

"_**Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected,**_

_**To take certain duties on board."**_

The Infidi hoisted the fridge onto their shoulders and began marching toward some cliffs that appeared at the south wall of the apartment.

"Hey! Put me down! I am the Prince of Night. Put me dooooowwwwwnnnnn-" The Infidi tossed the fridge into the churning water below.

"_**The future is littered with prizes!"**_

Suddenly a silver light appeared over them.

"Oh no!" Tymmie said.

"Mama!" Lambert screamed. He ran off his table and dived after Stanton. He threw the Prince of Night under the light. "Take the Prince. Do whatever to him, just don't make me do anything I wouldn't do in the novel."

"I don't think you ever expressed a want to sing Disney villain songs." Cassandra said. She hadn't been too badly tortured by Star, but she knew better than to give her an excuse to torture her.

A white light flew from the heavens and Star landed on her butt once again. Stanton opened his eyes to see a blonde girl in naughty lingerie. He could see lacy underwear with 'The Ghost Guy's Bitch' stitched on the fabric. He looked up.

"No! Not you!" She scrambled up and dove back into the fridge.

Tymmie's and Karyl's eyes drifted down her body. "Who were trying to seduce?"

Star glared at them and got up. She pulled at the dress and tried to make it cover the more private areas of her body. "Ghost Guy tried to rape me."

Morgan's mouth dropped. "And you didn't let him?"

"I have morals." Star snapped. She didn't like how the Follower guys, and some girls, were raping her with their eyes.

"Honey, I'd drop your morals for that hunk." Morgan said. She licked her lips. "He has such a fine ass."

Star threw a metal pipe at her head. She then stalked over and tore Morgan's coat off. She pulled the coat on and crossed her arms. "On with song."

"But-"

"NOW!" Star screeched. "Before I decide that this fanifc doesn't have enough torture in it."

"_**And though I'm the main addressee." **_Lambert suddenly sung.

"_**The point that I must emphasize is**_

_**You won't get a sniff without me!"**_

"More emotion!" Star said. She sat on the worn couch.

"_**So be prepared for the coup of the century." **_Lambert held his arms up to the night sky. He got back onto the table.

"_**Ohhhhh." **_Infidi Followers sang.

"_**Be prepared for the murkiest scam!"**_

"_**Ooooh, La! La! La!" **_Tymmie and Karyl swayed their hips.

"_**Meticulous planning" **_Lambert grinned.

"_**We'll have hope!" **_Infidi sang.

"_**Tenacity spanning."**_

"_**Infinite amounts of hope!"**_

"_**Centuries of denial."**_

"_**We say again."**_

"_**Is simply why I'll."**_

"_**Endless hope!"**_

"_**Be ruler of shadows undisputed, respected, saluted." **_The Infidi saluted their new leader.

"All hail Hilter."

"Lambert!"

"All hail Lucifer."

"LAMBERT!"

"All hail Satan."

"MY NAME IS LAMBERT!"

"All hail Lamp."

"**IT'S LAMBERT YOU FOOLS!"**

"All hail Lambert."

"THANK YOU LORD MY GOD!" Lambert said.

"_**And seen for the wonder I am. Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared. BE PRPARED!"**_

"_**YES, OUR TEETH AND AMBITIONS ARE BARED! BE PREPARED!" **_Everyone sang, even Stanton. They all gathered around Lambert in cheerleader like poses with their hands waving., Star thinks they're called Jazz hands or something.

"Are we free to go now?" Lambert asked.

"Nope." Star said. She pulled out her Mac. "Let's see, I wanted to do a Followers and Daughters thing with Pocahontas's Savages. Oh, the slaves of Nefandus could do Deliver Us from Prince of Egypt. Or Stanton and two other Followers could do Hakuna Matata."

The Followers paled. There had to be a way to get rid of this chick once and for all.

Tymmie, Karly, Lambert, and Stanton huddled together while Star thought of which form of torture would do.

"I vote we summon the Ghost Guy to come and take this bitch away." Stanton said.

"I'm sure he would greatly appreciate us sending his bitch back." Tymmie grinned.

"Can't we get her to parade around in that lingerie first?" Karyl whined.

"That's not such a bad idea." Lambert said.

"And suffer later?" Stanton asked.

"We suffer all the time because of those stupid fanfic authors." Karyl argued. "This could be lesson to all of them so they'll stop putting us in stupid situation like this one."

Stanton sighed. "I guess we better try to get rid of her. I really don't want to sing Hakuna Matata."

Karyl sighed. He loved it when girls fall out of the sky wearing lingerie. But she didn't parade around in it then it defeated the purpose. That ghost guy was so lucky. Invisible to some hot girl and haunting her dorm room and bedroom. Why couldn't he haunt some girl? Death couldn't be that bad if you got haunt a girl like that and rape her whenever you were in the mood. It wasn't like she could see or stop him. Karyl sighed if only.

"How do we summon him?" Lambert said.

The evil Followers of an ancient evil were drawing a blank.

"I vote we get someone to go off and find a way to summon Ghost Guy while the rest of us distracts her by doing her stupid Disney/Dreamworks songs." Stanton said. "I nominate that I-"

"Stay here and distract her." Adamantis said. "She hasn't used me in this fanfic yet so I'll go summon the ghost."

"You just don't want to be here because she'll have water again." Karyl said.

Adamantis suddered. "Good-bye and good luck." He vanished. Only the reappear two feet away. "Stupid shadow form." He concentrated and broken car sounds came from his cape. "Come on baby, come on. Work for daddy."

"We are so screwed." Tymmie muttered.

**What will happen next? Will the Followers be forced to sing Disney/Dreamwork songs for the rest of their existence, or until Star gets bored, or will the Ghost Guy rescue them from this terrible fate? Who knows. The author needs to go to bed now. So good night.**


	3. Mysterious Ticking Noise

I wonder why no one else thought about doing this. **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE POTTER PUPPET PALS because I am not that cool. Bold=the lyrics to the song I am not cool enough to own.**

**XXXXX**

"I've got it!" Star exclaimed. "I know what you guys should sing!"

The Followers paled. Adamantis attempted to creep off.

"The Followers can sing the Mysterious Ticking Noise from the Potter Puppet Pals!" Star explained.

"Shouldn't you be torturing the Daughters?" Karyl tried. "This is the Daughter's of the Moon fanfiction, not Follower fanfiction!"

"You are part of the Daughter's of the Moon, whether you like it or not!" Star said. "And I'll get to them later."

Far away the Daughters shuddered.

She clapped her hands together and a wooden stage with a blue background and red curtains. She clapped her hands and the Followers she was going to torture appeared on the stage and those who weren't being tortured were magically seated into red plush seats.

The Potter Pals theme song starts playing. Kelly steals a box of popcorn from Murray.

"Hey!"

"Sh!" Star said. She gave him the evil I-almost-got-raped-by-a-dead-stalker-guy-and-now-I'm-spending-my-time-torturing-fictional-characters glare.

Murray sat down and sulked in his seat. Between Kelly stealing his hair products and his popcorn, a guy just couldn't take it any mores! This girl would pay. Those hair products weren't cheap.

Suddenly a loud ticking, mysterious noise was heard.

Lambert walks on stage in a dark robe, kinda of like what Snape wears.

"**What is that mysterious ticking noise? not over here.. not over there...hmmm…its kinda.. catchy." **He quickly glanced around the stage to make sure no one was there.

**Lambert, Lambert, Lambert Malmaris,**

**Lambert, Lambert, Lambert Malmaris,**

**Karyl! **Karyl pops out of a trapdoor and then disappears.  
**  
Lambert, Lambert, Lambert Malmaris,**

**Karyl! **Karyl re-pops out of the trapdoor.

**Lambert, Lambert, Lambert Malmaris,**

**Karyl**

**Lambert, Tymmie. **Tymmie stands next to his awesome mentor/leader Lambert**, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie…Tymmie.**

Tymmie frowns and then looks at Star. "My last name is never mentioned in the book."

"I think Lambert is the only one with a last name out of all the Followers." Stanton said.

"HEY!" Kelly shrieked.

Murray was shoving popcorn into his mouth. He pulled a sock out of his pocket and shoved it into her mouth.

"Shut up woman."

Star rolled her eyes. Kelly sprang out of her seat like cat, with a realistic snarl and hiss. She tackled Murray to the ground and began rubbing his face in the dirt.

"My hair!" He cried out. "Do you know how long it took to this hair-do exactly right?"

Kelly cackled evilly.

"I don't know, just make up a last name." Star said. She glared at Kelly and Murray. She snapped her fingers and a lightening bolt zapped them.

Murray was really balling now. Dirt was easily fixed, but not this my-hair-is-standing-on-end-because-a-fanfic-author-zapped-me-with-a-lightening-bolt. This would take several showers and a lot of hair product.

"My hair!" Kelly screamed. It was now black and standing on end.

**Tymmie Darkly.**

"Darkly?" Lambert asked.

"It's the best the author could come up with."

**Karyl! **Sprang, well, the readers know.

**Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie Darkly**

**Karyl!**

**Lambert, Tymmie, Cassandra, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie Darkly, Cassandra**

**Karyl!**

**Lambert, Tymmie, Cassandra, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie Darkly, Cassandra**

**Karyl!**

**Lambert, Tymmie, Cassandra, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie Darkly, Cassandra  
Stanton Prince Stanton Prince Ooh! Stanton Prince Stanton Prince Yeah Stanton Prince Stanton Prince Ooh! Stanton Prince Stanton Prince That's me! **Stanton beamed as a bright beam of light shone on him.

**Karyl!**

**Lambert Stanton  
Lambert Stanton  
Lambert Stanton  
Lambert Stanton  
Lambert Stanton  
Lambert Stanton **

**LAMBERT STANTON  
LAMBERT STANTON**

They began smacking the others hands in a sissy fight.

**KARYL! **Karyl sprang out of the trapdoor and it slammed shut under him. His pale skin reflected the light that Stanton had been standing in.

"My eyes!" Someone cried from the audience.**  
...Cassandra. **Cassandra flew in an arc above the other characters.

**Karyl!**

**Lambert, Tymmie, Cassandra, Lambert, Tymmie, Lambert Malmaris, Tymmie Darkly, Cassandra  
Stanton Prince I'm Stanton Prince I'm Stanton Prince Stanton Stanton Prince**

**All: Singing Our Song All Day Long In Nefandus! Yeah!**

**Tymmie: I found the source of the mysterious ticking! It's an Immortal Destroying Pipe Bomb!**

**ALL : YAY!**

There was a huge explosion with lots of fire and light. Thick black smoke that makes you choke just by looking at it curled over the lifeless bodies of the DOTM characters.

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.**

A raccoon with a bus ringed tail walked onto the stage. He stepped out in the middle of the stage and stood up. Its back paw began to tap.

**Wally, Wally, ooh Wally- Wally Wally**

**Wally!**

The raccoon then scuttled off the stage.

The ending tune began to play.

The Followers clapped vigorously. That was the best performance they had ever seen. Shakespeare's plays or the ancient Greeks could not compare, not in the slightest.

Star stroked her chin. "What's next?"

She had an evil grin.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

I feel like I've scarred people for life. If there was a movie then I know someone would have done this.

If you have any requests/suggestions then just ask/say.


	4. Pure Crazy Blondelyness

I'm back! I'm bored again. Sigh. Boredom is boring. So I'm going to torture the DOTM characters again! But this time no song, just randomness. I think. I never plan for these things.

Anyway, on with the fanfic!

Star was leaning against the back of a chair, thinking about any songs she wanted to torture the Followers in.

"Can't we do good Disney songs?" Karyl complained.

"Lion King isn't a good Disney song?" Star asked.

"Well…" Karyl started before he saw Star's face.

Lion King just so happens to be one of Star's favorite Disney movies.

"Well, compared to recent Disney movie sequels of the originals, I guess it is pretty good." Tymmie said.

"It's the best." Star argued. "It's up there with Aladdin."

"Oh God, I love Aladdin!" Cassandra said.

"I always loved Abu." Stanton said. He was staring at a mirror and fussing over his hair. Immortal destroying pipe bombs ruined his beautiful shaggy blonde hair.

"Oh," Lambert said. "Can't we do something from Notre Dame?"

"A good movie completely forgotten by children these days." Star said, shaking her head. Parents thought it was too dark for their children to watch now adays. "Nope."

"Why the heck not?" Murray asked. It took him two hours to get his hair back the way it was.

"Because it's _way _too good for you guys to screw up with a fanfiction." Star said.

The Followers jaws dropped.

"Wh-what?" Cassandra asked.

"You guys aren't evil enough to do Frollo songs. Although I'd loved to see Tymmie sing Court of Miracles."

"Would I have to wear the silly purple fool outfit?" Tymmie asked. He realized something that Star had said. He sprang up. "What do you mean we are not evil enough to do Frollo songs?"

"Well, let's see what did Frollo do?" Star thought about it. "He punished and tortured gypsies just cuz he didn't like them."

"Hey, we do that." Kelly said.

"What, punish and torture gypsies?" Star asked. "I don't remember that in the books."

Kelly opened her mouth to speak, but Star threw a kitten into her mouth.

"Now, he corrupted the soul of a twenty-year-old hunchback." Star continued.

"I did that!" Lambert said.

Stanton stared at him opened mouthed. "I have a hunchback?" He began spinning around in a circle as he tried to look at his back.

"Stop!" Cassandra said. She grabbed Stanton and tore off his t-shirt. "I've memorized your back a million times, you don't have a hunch."

Stanton bitch slapped her. "Cassandra, ew, no! I told you I was waiting for marriage."

Karyl snickered. "Come on Stanton, we all know there's a lot more going on between you and Serena."

Stanton gave him a blank look. "Who's Serena?"

"Put your shirt back on." Star snapped.

Stanton looked seductively at her. "You know you don't-ow!"

Star twacked him over the head with her trusty flute.

"She used violence!" Murray said, pointing at Star. "We're invincible to her now."

Karyl grabbed her arm. She twacked him with her flute. Karyl clutched his face. "You are a liar, Murray."

"Uh, duh." Murray said. He patted his butt. His face paled. "Where's my comb?" He immediately began destroying the stage and seats Star had so painfully worked on for five seconds.

She snapped her fingers and a lightening bolt fizzed out Murray's hair once again. He screamed and ran into the apartment, locking the doors.

"You're mean." Karyl said.

"I can't be nice to everyone. I'd go insane." Star said. "And I never liked Murray. Now, he killed a woman on church steps." She looked at the Followers that she knew would interrupt her.

*cricket sounds*

"What? None of you have killed a woman on church steps?"

"We not allowed on scared grounds." Lambert pouted.

"Why?"

"We're pure evil." Cassandra said, cutting an N onto her chest to show off her obvious evilness. "Owie!" She began jumping up and down. "This hurts!"

"Does not." Stanton said. He took the razor and craved SERENA onto his chest. "Owie! This does hurt!" He joined Cassandra in the jumping up and down.

"He burned Paris because he was trying to find a girl he wanted to have sex with." Star continued. "And then he tried to burn her alive because she didn't want to have sex with a creepy old fart. And he tried to kill her and the hunchback he supposed to protect and care for. Have any of you done this?"

*more cricket sounds*

"So see, you guys just aren't evil enough for Frollo songs." Star said.

Kelly realized something. "Hey, you twacked Karyl and Stanton with your flute,"

"The flute is a musical instrument and does not fall under the tools of the Atrox." She tilted her head to the side. "You know, in my head I always pronounce Atrox as Athorox or something like that."

A mass of darkness appeared. He held up the Atrox Handbook to Evilness. "_She's right_."

Serena popped out of now where. "Yes, a new way to defeat the Followers of the Atrox!" She grabbed her cello and twacked Lambert on the head. She cackled.

"Oh no." Stanton said. "She's fallen to her dark side! She's the Goddess of Witches!"

A point hat with witch goddess stitched on it a million times appeared on Serena's head. A cheesy witch robe appeared on her and a long, hooked nose with two warts. She cackled and hopped onto a broomstick. She tried to take off, but the broom made dead car noises and she fell flat on her face.

"_Maybe making her the Goddess of Witches was an epic fail." _The Atrox said.

"A witch of stars would be better." I said. "Stars are the controllers of fate and control the flow of magic."

The Atrox pondered this.

Serena got up and pointed a crooked stick at the Atrox. "Avada Kedavra bitch!"

Nothing happened.

"Nothing happened." Stanton said.

Serena glared at him. "You're not wearing the sweater I made for you."

"It had your raccoon on it!" Stanton said.

"Because I love Wally more than you." She picked up the raccoon. "He's always there for me and always listens to me when I'm bitching about someone." There were flies swarming around the dead raccoon.

"Um, Wally's a girl." Star said.

Serena's mouth dropped. "Wally's a girl?"

"Yeah." Star walked up to Serena. "He doesn't have a man part."

Serena looked at her raccoon and saw that she indeed did not have a man part.

"Oh. Walliana!" She cried and hugged the now female raccoon.

"Wait, where did you learn the killing curse?" Star asked, dreading the answer.

"Voldemort." Serena said, kissing the corpse of the raccoon. "You never sent them back to their own galaxies."

"Star!"

Star turned and saw the House of Night vampyres again.

"You owe us a wish you bitch!" Aphrodite said.

"I AM NOT A GOD DAMN GENIE!" Star screamed. "Sorry Lord I didn't mean to take your name in vain." She told the sky. "And it's w not b."

Kalona landed behind the vampyres.

"Where's Neferet?" Star asked. She would suck them all back into their galaxy because the fact they were still in this story was a plot hole because Star didn't think she would use them later.

Neferet stumbled over looking drunk and drug loopy.

"What happened?" Star asked.

"She sucked the blood of some drunk, drug loopy L.A. girl." Jack said.

"Okay, bye-bye." Star flicked her wrist and a portal that smell like rain, because Star loves the smell of rain, appeared and suck those characters back to their galaxy.

Stanton turned and saw Adamantis was eating popcorn. "You're supposed to be finding Ghost Guy!"

"What?"

Adamantis paused his pigging out with his cheeks puffed out with popcorn like a chipmunk. His eyes widened when he saw Star glaring at him.

"You were going to go get Ghost guy?" She asked. She looked very angry.

"They made me do it." He said through the chipmunk cheeks. He pointed at Stanton and Lambert.

Star stalked over and thwacked him with her flute. Popcorn was spat out everywhere. "First, that's for going to go get that evil rapist." She twacked him again. "That's for in the Final Eclipse when you were talking about Catty you evil penis breath."

"That's not very nice." Everyone turned to see a giant, blue cat person standing in the road.

"Vanessa?" Serena said.

"Yes. I've embraced the spirit of Pandora within me!" She stretched her arms to the sky and said that she was almost flat chest, but still not wearing any sort of top covering. Her tail twitched behind her. There was nothing, but a loincloth, well sort of loincloth since it had not back, covering her sort of striped blue body.

The Atrox growled. _"I don't want some freaky blue cat chick for my evil, hopeless, and irreversible love sick mistress."_

Star threw a ball of light at the Atrox. It screamed and cowered under a bed. "No Eclipse Spoilers! It's not allowed!"

"Catty dies!" Karyl screamed just to ruin it for anyone who hasn't read the final book. Star threw Holy Water on him. "Ahhhhh, water!" He began screaming and running around in a circle.

Catty jumped up in front of the Atrox dressed like a Jedi with the Secret Scroll in her hands, a blade of light came from the curling paper. "If you strike me down, then I will become more powerful than you could ever hope to be!"

"He's under that bed." Tymmie said rather bored. "That's just the poster for his play."

Star narrowed his eyes at Tymmie and his black clothes were transformed into a bright pink tutu with bows and sparkles! All his facial piercing were covered with pink, sparkly bows. His bald head was covered with a curly blonde wig with more pink bows in the curls.

He screamed like a little girl. He began prancing around and twirling like a ballerina.

"You evil, heartless little girl!" He screamed. He started to enjoy this though. "This fun!"

Jimena stood by the Star. "Are you really enjoying yourself?"

"Oh come on, I'm sure there are a lot of people who wanted to see Tymmie in a man tutu." Star admitted.

Jimena had to admit. That man tutu did bring out Tymmie's strong, demonical beautiful features to the point…

Tianna appeared out of nowhere with Maggie beside her. "Why is Tymmie prancing around in a man tutu? Why is the Atrox hiding under a bed? Why is Vanessa a giant blue cat? Why is Serena a witch and hugging a dead raccoon we thought was male, but now realize it doesn't have a man part so it must be female? Why is Murray bald?"

Murray wailed.

Maggie pointed at the blonde, gray-blued eye girl by Jimena. "Star is back."

Tianna mouth made an O. She shoved Maggie in front of her. "I'm not really a Daughter of the Moon! I don't really exist! I don't have soul or heart! Don't make me suffer like in the first chapter!" She ran into a brick wall.

"Well," Star rubbed her hands together. "Now that you're all here, let's continue with the Disney songs!"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOX**

I do not own Star Wars.

I'm a little concerned about myself with the last little bit, but oh well, the world needs insane people otherwise it just wouldn't be a fun place to live.


	5. An Epic Real! Wedding

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Princess Bride or Corpse Bride.

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

Star felt it in her gut. Something was amiss! Something was _dreadfully _amiss.

"Whatever could be dreadfully amiss?" Stanton mused. He went back to pouting because Serena was having a tea party with Walina and he hadn't been invited.

"Something is amiss!" Vanessa declared.

Star rolled her eyes. "This has already been established."

"What could be amiss!" Lambert declared.

"Why are we restating things that have already been stated? Why has the smog cleared from L.A.? Why are in a church? Why is Star in a wedding dress?" Tianna said.

The Followers and the Atrox began wailing because they weren't allowed on scared ground. (It had something to do with a Follower who tried to cross over a Priest's daughter and he hadn't been too happy about it.) Star looked down and screeched. She was indeed in a wedding dress with her hair pulled back with a veil draping down her back. The dress was pretty, not all white but hemmed with emerald green. In her hand was a bouquet of white lilies.

"What the heck?" Star screamed.

"_Sit!" _A powerful male voice commanded. The beings of supreme evil stopped their horrific noise and sat on the pews as did the Daughters and some other people.

Star stood in the middle of the aisle. She knew that voice.

"Someone smite me!" She declared. This was not to end well. But she was not smited despite being in a room filled with people who would gladly smite her without a second thought.

Hector, Derek, Collin the Sons of the Dark, Zahi, Justin, and Mason appeared at the front of the church where the choir went.

"Wedding, a wedding, we're going to have a wedding, a wedding!" They sang like a badass church choir.

Serena hopped up. "I want to play my cello."

"I want to sing!" Vanessa said.

"_Sit!" _The same mysterious male voice said. The girls immediately sat back down.

"Huzzah! Huzzah!" The deep voiced boys sang. "We're going to have a wedding. Hurray! A wedding! Hurray! Let's all give out a cheer cause the bride is getting married today! Hurray!"

The entire gathered cried. "Hurray!"

"One thing you can surely say is we will stand beside. Until the end, we will defend our one and only bride." They pointed at Star who standing stupidly in the middle of aisle confused out of her wits.

"Our bride to be, our bride to be, our lovely Dorky Bride. Huzzah! Hurray! Huzzah! Hurray! The bride is getting married today."

"Hell no!" Star screamed.

"We're going to have a party like no-one has ever seen. The normal people in the land above will not know where they've been. The Land above…The party of... The Bride!"

"Stop singing!" Star started throwing snowballs at them.

"Here comes the bride on her glorious day of days. Up to the Land of the Normals to celebrate!"

"Why are we here?"

Star looked behind her and saw other Daughters of the Moon fanfic authors in pews. Question mark?

An arm went around her waist and lifted her up. The groom began carrying her toward the altar. She looked at the groom.

"YOU!" Star said.

"Hey dork." Ghost guy said.

"No!" She grabbed a pew leg and held on for dear life.

Ghost guy grabbed her legs.

"Don't touch those, those are mine!" She let go of the pew leg to hit him with her bouquet, that she hadn't let go of yet.

He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. She smacked his back with the bouquet and was surprised that it didn't fall apart.

He dropped her at the altar. "Anyone here a minister?"

Everyone looked around. The Atrox raised its hand.

"Cool, come on up!" He said.

The Atrox disappeared and reappeared in front of the groom and the fanfic author dressed like a bride.

He put on some glasses and opened a book. He looked over at the gathered.

"Mawidge…mawdige is what bwings us togewer…today…to join willingly this ghost and forcibly join this fanfic author."

"Oh my Goddess! I love the princess bride!" Jimena said.

Stanton leaned over to Lambert. "When did the Atrox starting talking like that?"

Lambert begins balling. "It's…so beautiful. I promised myself I wouldn't cry!" He leaned on Adamantis who starts balling.

"I always cry at weddings!" He screamed dabbing his face with a hankie. Stanton crossed his arms and went back to pouting about the tea party he hadn't been invited to. He glared over and saw Serena hugging Walina.

Meanwhile, Star is wrestling trying to get out of Ghost Guy's death grip.

"Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam..."

"I don't! I don't! I don't! I DON'T!" Star screamed.

The Atrox snapped his fingers a white gag appeared around Star's mouth because black would clash with her white dress. She screamed muffledly into the cloth.

"So…tweasuwe your vruv…your twue vruv. Do you, Ghost Guy willing mawy this fanfic awor?"

"Yep." Ghost guy said.

The Atrox looked at Star, who was pleading with her eyes for him not to continue.

"Not I'm even going to ask you." He said.

"Mmmmmmm!" Star shrieked.

"So til death…"

"Mmmmm-ha!" Star tugged the gag down enough to speak. "He's a Ghost. He's dead! This marriage is void-mmmm!" Ghost guy tugged the gag back over her mouth.

"In this fanfic I am alive." He put her hand over his heart. "See beating. On with the wedding!"

"Mmmmm!" Star protested. She tugged it down. "How do I know that's not fake?"

He grinned. "What you wanna strip me-OW!"

Star began kicking him and hitting him with her bouquet.

"Abuse, abuse!" He screamed. He drew out a pair of handcuffs with a long chain. He snapped one on his wrist and the other on hers. "HA!"

"Oh, great you gave me something I can strangle you with." She held the chain in her hands.

"Promise?" He said. "Can you say husband and wife real quick?"

"By the power given to me…by me," The Atrox smirked.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" She screamed. The Atrox thought a minute about what he was about to do.

"Husband and wife!" It declared.

Everyone stood up and threw white petals into the air. Adamantis and Lambert were leaning on one another sobbing beyond loudly holding pink handkerchiefs and dabbing their delicate faces with them.

"KISS HER! KISS HER!" Everyone yelled pumping the air with their fists.

"Wait, wait!" Star ducked away from Ghost guy's puckered face. "This can't be legal." She looked at her fellow fanfic authors.

"This is a dilemma." One of them said, stroking her chin.

"I would just like to add I stole her laptop which would make me a fanfic author." Ghost guy said.

"YOU-"

He grabbed her face and kissed her flat on the lips.

"WOO-HOO!"

Fanfic authors looked one another. "She does have a point. He is a ghost in the 'real world.'" Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "And forcing a marriage via fanfic isn't ethical."

"When do we care about ethicness?" Another fanfic author said with a wicked grin.

Some of the others nodded in agreement.

"But this might cross the line though." Another said.

"This may cross the line though." One of them agreed.

"We should vote!" Another declared.

"That would too cruel to leave it up to other fanfic authors who weren't invited."

"They're probably holding a grudge because they weren't invited."

The fanfic authors glanced at the kissing couple. Star's hand was curled like she was trying to conjure a knife to stab into his back.

They all looked one another. "Reception first."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

I don't know where this came from.


End file.
